Fr. Thomas Keating and the centering prayer spokespeople say that showing up is where to start. Makes sense to me. After all, how can I gain benefits if I don’t do it? Evidently, after years of practice some people are still struggling to empty their minds of thoughts, so how can be discouraged? I trust the process. I figure that if my willingness to sit with God pleases me, it just has to please God.
I’ve continued to show up for twenty minutes twice a day to practice centering prayer. My mind still bops all over the place, but at least I’m present, just sitting there, phone timer set. My usual times are 6AM and 1PM.
Fr. Thomas Keating and the centering prayer spokespeople say that showing up is where to start. Makes sense to me. After all, how can I gain benefits if I don’t do it? Evidently, after years of practice some people are still struggling to empty their minds of thoughts, so how can be discouraged? I trust the process. I figure that if my willingness to sit with God pleases me, it just has to please God.
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I’ve never paid much attention to Holy Saturday. Growing up I don’t recall it ever mentioned in my UCC church. Just a day when nothing happened, nothing going on at church. That’s still true. I can see my church from our upstairs window and all is quiet. No cars in the parking lot. No service to attend. And yet, I notice that Holy Saturday is very much with me this year. Not on my mind, as in thinking, but as a presence, a presence of the God of centering prayer; the God that comes to me when I stop analyzing, stop trying to figure things out, stop wanting to do it my way. Today I feel particularly calm; I am living a centering prayer day. I’ll be doing my regular activities-- cooking, enjoying family, reading, writing, and walking--but I sense that my mind will be empty of some of the usual, excessive and unnecessary chatter. Yes, a centering prayer day. My morning devotion time starts out well, but as the day goes on I become more and more distracted by life’s happenings. At 6AM I begin my first twenty minute period of centering prayer, which leads into intercessory prayer, followed by Bible and meditation reading. Then life begins and although I do my best to pray without ceasing, the lapses begin. I like the idea of noon devotionals, but I’m not seriously committed so they don’t happen with any regular gusto. My daily walk, however, is a fruitful prayer time for me. If my schedule allows, which it usually does, I practice the second centering prayer time at 4PM. All good, but then supper preparation begins, followed by eating and the listening to news (Need I ask if this is spiritually helpful?) After that I can’t get my mind back with God in any serious way so I read a novel and work on my ever-present jigsaw puzzle. The good news on all of this is that before I go to bed I listen to a daily, twelve minute devotional entitled "Pray as you go." http://www.pray-as-you-go.org/home/. I close my eyes and listen to the music, scripture and prayerful questions asked. A peaceful way to fade into a peaceful sleep. Hmm, as I read what I’ve just written, I seem quite faithful, and I am. I want my prayer for others to become a more frequent part of my daily life. As with centering prayer, I have to keep showing up. My Centering Prayer intention continues. Other than missing one session this past Sunday, I have shown up twice a day for twenty minutes for the past seven weeks. Today I want to share two noticing with you. First of all, my belief in God has strengthen. God is in here in my heart not out there in my mind as an idea. Secondly, I am getting answers to questions and situations in my life that are God led, not Bobbi led. These responses are what God is calling me toward, not what I want to do. In other words, what God wants me to do, not what I want God to tell me to do. Subtle but in the paradigm shift category. I’m giving myself a good report card on Centering Prayer *. I’ve showed up for twenty minutes twice a day for one month, starting January 19th at La Badia in Florence, and now here today in the Angel Room. I show up with the intention of sitting with God. It’s not about how good I am at it, but about my intention. At first I concentrated on feeling my breath and ‘trying’ to empty my mind; my ‘word’ was ‘Jesus’. It was about doing. Lately I notice that the doing is shifting to being. Less thinking. Just showing up with intention; my word is ‘intention’. The shift in my relationship with God and in my faith in palpable. Beyond words. I’ll write about it when the words come. Meanwhile, if you are on a serious spiritual journey, I strongly recommend giving centering prayer a try—don’t try, do it with intention. It will make a worldly and heavenly difference in your life. * “Intimacy with God,” by Thomas Keating www.contemplativeoutreach.org Here is my report on my daily centering prayer commitment. The showing up part is going well. I have haven’t missed a time since I began nine days ago—two twenty-minute sessions, one in the morning, one in the afternoon. The actual centering, however, has a long way to go. I can feel my breath and concentrate on my word for no more than six consecutive breaths. Of course, that shows how difficult this all is, because why am I even be counting? And why am I thinking my breath, not feeling it? The grace in all of this is that I notice some shifts out in my world; a tad more concentration, observable patience, and some spirit led decisions. I am not discouraged; I will keep showing up. Centering prayer is going well. Well, in that I have participated as promised, two times a day for twenty minutes, for two and a half days. I read up a little; the procedure itself is simple. Here’s my summary: sit quietly, close your eyes, and pray for God’s presence; pick a word (mine is Jesus) to think and to return to when your mind wanders; at the end of the time remain in silence for a few minutes before opening your eyes; offer prayers of gratitude. I’ve been doing my centering prayer in La Badia because it is nearby and quiet. San Miniato al Monte, the church on the hill overlooking Florence would be another quiet church, but it is quite a hike to get there. Here are my photos from visit there the other day. I’ve started, once again, to meditate. I’ve written about this before—my desire, my commitment, and then I drop the subject because I’ve dropped the practice. So what makes me dare to go public again? What makes me committed with renewed desire? The simple answer is that my longing for God has deepen during this time in Florence. I have committed the time here to being with God, and one of the messages I’ve heard is that if I’m serious about living a life with God, I must get out of my head, I must stop thinking. Centering prayer is practice in doing just that! This was reinforced last night while reading the latest on-line newsletter from Contemplative Outreach *, the site featuring Thomas Keating, the acknowledged leader of Centering Prayer. I found myself listening to a lecture by Keating on YouTube. In his charming, convincing manner, he was clear that centering prayer formed the foundation for a deep communion with God. By emptying ourselves of thought, we can hear God speaking to us. That’s the gist of what I heard. So here is my commitment. Two twenty minute periods of centering prayer a day. One in the morning, another in the afternoon. I dare not attempt it in the evening for fear I’d fall asleep. I began this morning at La Badia, where it is very quiet, and I’ll probably return there this afternoon. This obligation is easy to fulfill while I’m in Florence, but at home, well, it will be a challenge. I’ll keep you posted. * “Contemplative Outreach is a spiritual network of individuals and small faith communities committed to living the contemplative dimension of the Gospel. The common desire for Divine transformation, primarily expressed through a commitment to a daily Centering Prayer practice, unites our international, interdenominational community.” www.contemplativeoutreach.org My church offers a Wednesday evening service. The invitation is as follows: Join us Wednesday nights at 7pm for worship at "The Well." Throughout Lent these intimate and informal services will look at different spiritual practices that can be used anywhere: including church, home or work. Spiritual practices can be helpful to relieve stress, seek guidance, and give thanks throughout your life. Last Wednesday we experienced centering prayer. I do my own version at the cottage, but seldom do I pray in this way with others. Praying in community is mighty powerful and very different from praying alone. We pray with others in church, but centering prayer isn’t part of the service. I’d love more opportunities but I don’t want to commit myself to something formal or scheduled. Um, how self-centered is that? Much to consider. One of the benefits in getting up at 5:30, is that regardless of all the holiday activities, my solitary morning prayer time is never compromised. Very few people get up that early, and if they do, they are into their own meditation ritual. Activities or parties start after a big late morning breakfast, so no interruption there. This season my prayer time has been more heartrending, more necessary, and more powerful than ever. As my faith grows, so does my desire to be with God and to ask for and receive God’s guidance. I’m still amazed at how each morning God’s presence returns to me, to the mind of my heart. Of course during the day I let it fly away. It disappears, but less often and for shorter lengths of time, so it seems. |
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